For two night despite not having blinds I have slept so deeply. I didn't even brush my teeth last night, ugh, and I smelled an awful smell -- it turned out to be cheese I have no memory of bringing in to the bedroom, the crumbly blue cheese kind and yup it is all over the floor and bed spread.
I think the trauma of moving, a new environment which I don't see me investing in long term but calling up plantworks today and saying cut my garden dream way down to the bare minimum...there goes the garden dream.
9-11 is the most disturbing experience I have ever seen first hand. I remember walking all the way west until I saw too gaping holes....my brain still did not understand...I walked home and sat with a next door neighbor and than the towers crumbled...still don't believe it.
That was the most horrible.
Recent "in the news" of the biggest baddest muse getting served karma twice over after a decade still brings back major stress and upset and the last started with the battle to save St. Ann's and the entire "business" NYU's tear down which couldn't have happened with out the illegal air sale, the USPS owned the air rights and they believe their federal status made them above the law, the USPS believed because they are federal they did not have to notify the State of New York as they were legally obligated and therefore the safety concerns, the concerns for the community were not examined by the State of New York as they were suppose to.
Do I remember the parishioner's crying and praying on the street after being turned out of St. Ann's? Yes. I don't understand how Cardianal Egan could let this happen. How he could sell the churches off like he was having a bake sale.
I also am stunned by the shockingly selfish out of control loud behavior that I can't help wonder if it is fueled by drugs as in abuse of prescribed drugs, illegal drugs and alcohol. I think a high percentage of crime may be related to this and now that I moved I hope to never hear drunk people screaming, "Where did I park my car?" and what a horrifying thought that someone drunk is getting behind the wheel of a car. There is a breed of "no empathy" people that don't get it and they blast their stereos and since to want to inflict their lives on you.
I really think about moving out to the country. Don't get me wrong. NYC is filled with so many good people. Very thoughtful, considerate good people, it just seems the greedy, selfish, narcissistic bad apples ruin the big apple for everyone.
I really feel for the community and I believe if they were truly represented as they should have been we could have worked successfully to save a lot more of the community but it was not so.
There was an incrediable act of evil done to me...I describe it as a slow motion hate crime and I do believe that they people involved will have karma served to them just like I now have witnessed the baddie get his -- a double serving and it took more than a decade.
I know I have to let go of the upset and I do believe in my heart what goes around comes around and in mini-miracles. To focus you mind and heart on what is good and not what is bad. When people do bad they continue to do bad and they will finally attract a situation that truly prevents them from continuing on.
Last night it rained hard and the window in my bedroom leaked. It is a new development so it will take time and patience. I feel like I need so much rest right now and this morning I felt I have to take the cats and leave.
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