smiling but cranky

I am smiling and feeling a little more light hearted since Big Bad Tom was concerned and gave me a pep talk via the blog.  I know he is right about less words more pictures but I love words.

Now as Mae West might say, I want to get somethings off my chest, bare my.....

soul since every day NYC becomes more soulless -- it is more important than ever to be soulful passionate rather than be silent.  The greedy me monsters want you to be silenced by intimidation or just shop as they turn this city in to a mirrored generic shopping mall.

I wonder if I shaved my head and wore big baggy shirts how people would treat me.  I would save so much money, time and energy.  I can't tell you how much money it costs to dye your hair.

I used to be very muscular, chunky and have very short hair and very few people recognize me now but I am surprised by some people from so long ago that do.  One guy that has been hanging on the street for as long as I have lived here knows me and remembers me from when I was much heavier and much more muscular.

One morning after being harassed as in the kind where you go down to the police precinct and file a report harassed and a little more attention from another guy I went and got a big gold ring put in my nose!  An older man when I was feeling really really blue after Sept. 11 and comforted me gave me such a pep talk and I happen to bump in to him again with the big gold ring and he convinced me to go home and take it out.

I love being 46 years old and I feel more comfortable in my body than ever.

I just can't stand the law of   inequality and lack of freedom and I promise you if I get upset I will radically alter my appearance.  When I see young women with piercings and mohawks and I really understand.   The police can do very little for you until after your are harmed big and bad and or murdered and if you listened to my podcast "Murderville East Village" in my fictional tale the female character comes back and she is very, very angry and she makes her anger felt by all those involved in causing her pain and her death.  This is my art and this is how I work out my feelings through paint and words.   

Also note I have a much more positive feeling about the NYPD than many in the neighborhood and I really feel they do so much we take for granted which makes the streets safer but I do admit sometimes I do feel scared.  They carry a badge and have authority and it is so important they have a strong sense of integrity and that goes for retirees as well because they still have a badge and some still have guns and if they don't have integrity they become society's problem.

ps  Question:  If I had not but up this busty photo would you have read my thoughts.

I feel calm now but I really had some major upset about NYU, the purple reign of terror and destruction of the East Village and West -- they are so predatory waiting for buildings to empty as in people being evicted for their greed disguised as not for profit.

Same with they creepy greedy landlords that sell themselves a building they own for a dollar and evict long term community members.