When I was being harassed every day -- I lost so much weight -- funny but main stream hetero men find that look attractive,
than hair just fell out, still falling out, just the very front top of my head....had that once before when I was in my early 20's working 17 hours days on a movie -- I pushed my body so hard doing craft services, the hair just fell out. Post traumatic stressing, other symptoms, stomach pain, throat burn, and skunk pits, your body just give off this odor....stuck in fight and flight. Exhaustion -- not much sleep....
Post-traumatic stressing, revisit Lotus Land -- the bicycle too big for me, loaned to me by a Republican, sorry folks not all Republicans are bad people! (Chilly but not all bad...) Now I am packing on the pounds.
Lotus land so vivid so real -- smelled the smells, inhale the beautiful orgasmic smells, think the beauteous thoughts and the sad ones...let the bicycle speed down the hill no brakes think of a real bad boy I met -- he would approve that wildness -- I felt that feeling in the pit of my stomach -- would I lose complete control -- I thought of him and I was fine...than I thought how he tricked me as bad boys always do....thought of /////////// just looking at him eye orgasms, a sad song makes me think of 9-11, he sings -- I can't stand to fly, I am not the niave, I am just out to find the better part of me ,more than a pretty face....even heroes have the right to bleed...
Post traumatic stressing -- it was life post 9-11 voting for Bloomberg - really hoping and believing he would help us, I could never imagine his administration would crush us with a tsunami of development! I never imagined a series of events so disturbing -- so grave -- I would drop weight, have hair falling out...move, leave my home of 20 years....sometimes the anger still hits me. I talked with lawyers discussed sueing several parties, sorry not the NYPD. Just decided that karma would serve justice.
Have to just go back out and enjoy the miracle of this beautiful day.
Go for a walk by the trees....
I say, sshh, quiet, listen....
Can you hear the trees singing,
do your hear the forest singing to you?
Listen, the forest is singing...
