Scary Exhausted Last Night Bad Night Very Upset

You know what I am upset about.

I also was told to make my movements of my neck small -- movements small period....trying to figure out what I can do and what I can't.

I may go to classes I used to go to and just lay down and rest to be part of the group and that is it because with my neck so messed up I can't do basics that are part of class that I used to do....

But I am trying to weight lift especially for my legs and the synovis injections although very painful really helped me.

I still have problems -- my joints are shot but I am building muscle.

I wear my brace when I work out and the subways are a big concern -- the subway is very "jerky" and also the people the crowds.

So tired I am ready to go to bed.

I have the toxic bo skunk pits it is back. Didn't have italian food today -- my all time fav for right now -- just think pasta garlic olive oil and cheese -- there is a place I will be going that will make me just the way I love it can't wait.

Someone handed me a dumpling type thang today and there was something really uncool in it.

I just want to be veg one day like I was in my twenties -- just get these cravings sometimes.

Tired tired tired....

Some of you wrote and said do a happy YouTube well I did --- I use a old fashioned pole in Central Park as a stripping pole. I give Bloomberg and all those one percenters with their clever tax shelters hell.

I say leave the strippers alone. They work way too hard for the money and should be paid more.


I took pole dancing classes and I was so bruised and it really hard work.

(I did think it was sexy fun and I loved the music but to earn a living that way with horny lonely probably very angry messed up men staring at you....not on my top ten list.)


I have been wearing my I love Ron Kuby shirt non stop and I am so grateful to him and especially the way he treated me because I was very bruised physically and mentally including from the in my opinion corrupt cop.